Shopping
by Draco-luver
Summary: The 'Hood goes shopping for groceries, and lolly pops... R&R?


This comes from reading to much toddfan and boredom, enjoy! ;  
  
  
  
Shopping   
  
  
  
(At the 'Hood house on a saturday afternoon.)  
  
Wanda had been up in her room all day and had decided she was dying or she was hungry. Probably hungry since she wasn't sick or anything like that. So she got up and went down stairs, past the living room, past the idiots in it. And into the kitchen and stopped in front of the fridge. She opened in and looked around in it for a minute or so and then closed it. And walked back to the living room where Lance and Todd are watching t.v., but there's only fuzz on every channel. Pietro is in the corner on the phone, again. And Freddy was asleep in his chair by the window, he said it's better there so he won't get cold during afternoon naps, like the present moment.   
  
Smiling to herself she sent a hexbolt into the t.v., breaking it. "Hey, we were watching that!" Lance protested and stood up and walked over to Wanda stopping infront of her. "What's your problem witch?" he nearly snarled. He was probably fed up, they all were. They had been fighting for days, no food didn't help. "There's no food. You pigs keep eating it all before I even get one bite!" she yelled in his face, practically radiating hexbolts. He backed off a little. Todd had been torn between awe and rage that Lance dare get in the face of his Sweetums. Upon jumping across the room and kicking Lance away from Wanda he tried to appologize for Lance's actions but he was greeted by a hexbolt.  
  
Pietro had gotton off the phone and was listening and nodding his head. "Well I say we get more food then." "Real bright idea genius, how do you suppose we get the money for that?" Wanda asked, having already rolled her eyes during his statement. Freddy piped up now. "Mystique?" Pietro looked appalled. "Are you crazy man? She'd let a starve before giving us money." "Yeah because you went on a little spree last month. Now she doesn't trust us." said Lance. "Well I have to look good for my ladies." Wanda squeezed the bridge of her nose and said "Look, this isn't getting us anywhere. We'll just, have to, I don't know, get a cart full and make a break for it. If we get past the doors that is."   
  
"There's McFarlen's on 19th street, we haven't been there before." Freddy opted. "Fine fine, lets go." Wanda said turning to retrieve her long coat from her room. Though Todd prefered her without it, it gave a nice view of her bare back. Only the top half but still a view to him.  
  
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After situating themselves into Lance's Jeep they were off. "I'm hungry." "We know Freddy, we know." Todd said, squished between Freddy and Pietro. Wanda had bogarted the front seat faster than Pietro could get out the door, so she was comfortable.  
  
Five minutes later. "I'm hungry." Freddy wailed again. "We know Freddy, we know."  
  
Five minutes later. "I'm still hungry." "We STILL know Freddy!" everybody said as one.   
  
Five minutes later. "I'm hung-" "We're here!" Pietro said jumping out. Everybody was visibly relieved to finally get there. "Thank god, no more chorus' of 'I'm hungry' from Freddy.  
  
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The manager didn't regonize them and they managed to get in without incedent. Pietro grabbed a cart, maybe a little to fast, as he scared two old women. "So so so, what are we getting?" Pietro asked. He was a bit hyper, it was his first time, they never trusted him to do the grocery shopping before. The one time he did he only came back with a can of soda and ten numbers. "Uh, we need some kind of meats, maybe some juices, and uh some fruits and veggie's I guess." Wanda said looking at her little list. She'd never been shopping in a store without black lipstick. Usually Freddy or Todd did the grocery shopping so she wasn't sure what to get.   
  
So after ten minutes they had two or three V8 splashes, and half the buggy was full of mini pumkins, for Pietro, though he didn't say why. Wanda was on her way to the meat section when Todd came wobbling over, at least she thought it was Todd, his green shaded hair was poking over the top of 8 or so 6-packs he was carrying. "Todd, what are you doing?" Lance asked, trying ot hide his smirk. "Ooh! Grape!" "No Freddy, we're not getting them." Wanda told him. "Why not?" He wined. "Their full of sugar, you really don't need any more." she said watching him make his way towards the display of lolly pops. She rolled her eyes and sent a hexbolt at him scaring him away from the now fried lolly pops.   
  
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Wanda made it to the meat section after sending an uncountable amount of hexbolts in the direction of every sweet thing on the way, sending more than a few other customers in the opposite direction. She had finally got tired of shielding Freddy from the 'goodies' and passed him off on Lance, who was getting the toilet paper and paper towels. She wasn't to sure the difference between hamburger and sliced turkey. "Sweetums, need some help?" She nearly screamed, she hadn't heard him come up, she swore he was taking active job as her shadow. "Uh, yeah. I kinda don't like meat, so I don't know the difference between that meat and that meat." she said pointing to the hamburger and sliced turkey. "That's ok Sweetums, I'll help you. Now this is hamburger and this is sliced turkey." "And this says 'chopped ham' but they all look like smushed tomatoes to me."  
  
While Wanda and Todd where deciding on a kind of meat that the whole house would eat Freddy and Lance were looking at car magezines, at least Lance was, Freddy was inching his way towards the end of the isle were that lolly pop display was. Everytime he got three feet away from Lance he would be stopped in his tracks by a small tremor. "But Lance," Freddy kept wailing. "They won't spoil my dinner, they have nutritional value." Lance snorted and looked up from his magezine and said "Like what?" "Uh, I hadn't thought that part out exactly." "That's what I thought." Lance was about to go back to reading when a silver blur whirled down their isle and stopped behind Lance clutching his shoulders. "Can I help you Pietro?" He was gasping for air before he spoke, as if he'd just seen a ghost.  
  
"T-Tabby! Down t-there, on the next isle over." He said pointing to the next isle and he fainted. Freddy looked up. "Uh oh." "So? We're The Brotherhood, we can handle anything." He said, with a dismisive wave of his hand. Of course that's when the two or three little yellow balls rolled from under the magazine rack into their isle, and exploded right under Freddy turning him unside down onto his stomach. "Well uh, maybe not everything." Lance said turning around. He was about to run when Boomboom came around the end of the isle smiling. "You guys talk way to loud, real easy to plan an attack on you. Hello Pietro!" She said looking down at the unmoving form that is Pietro Maximoff on the floor. "Whosa wassa?" He said coming around, then saw Tabby and fainted again.   
  
Lance rolled his eyes again and was about to make a run for it when Kitty came around the corner with Rogue pushing their cart. "Ladies." Pietro said with a bow, he woke up appearantly. "Kitty." Lance said, away from Tabitha. She hadn't seen him at first and smiled up at him. "Lance." "M'ah god, are you two gonna stand ahround all day flirting?" "No! No, no, we're not. Uh, like, what did we need, like, from this isle? Tabby?" Kitty said a bit nervously. But Tabby wasn't listening, she was flicking some of her tiny boombombs at Freddy, who wasn't dodging them very well. "Huh? Oh, peanut butter and wheat bread for Scott." She said abandoning her game, relieving Freddy. Rogue went to get the peanut butter and wheat bread while Lance casually made his way towards Kitty.   
  
"So Kitty, what you doing Saturday night?" "Oh, we have, like, danger room pratice. You?" "Oh, nothing. What about Friday night?" "Nothing, maybe, like, a little homework, but we, like, do that in big groups on Saturdays. Why?" She asked slyly. "Uh," He could feel his face turning a traitorous shade of red. "Just thought you might wanna see a movie or something, if Xavior will let you out that is." He was mentally crossing his fingers. "Sure, we, like, get 11:00 curfew on Fridays and Saturdays." "Ok, 7 ok with you?" "Like, sure." He would have liked to continue their conversation but he suddenly felt weak, there was a hand on his shoulder that he was sure wasn't there before. "Sorry lova boy but this kitten has ta go now. Here Kitty Kitty." Rogue said, slipping her right glove back on.   
  
Tabby came up behind Pietro and popped a tiny boombomb into his shirt scaring him and causing him to faint again. Appearantly this was the best tactic to use around Boomboom because she didn't seem to bother him once he fainted.  
  
After making sure Lance was just a bit tired and not near a comatose state, they left that isle and went in search of the rest of their groceries. Pietro had since woken up, as he was sure Tabby was gone and was standing behind Lance. "I don't see-" "Ahhh!" Lance screamed and turned around. "What's wrong with you?" "I don't eat enough tiny pumpkins. Anyway I don't see why you go after her, she'll still be an X-geek." He got a small tremor as the first part of his answer. "Leave kitty alone." he warned, very serious. And stalked off. "And watch Freddy, he's near those lolly pops again." he said rounding the end of the isle. He decided to make his way towards the meat, maybe help Wanda, god knows what Todd's done to her by now.  
  
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He was halfway there when he remembered he was supposed to be getting the paper towels and toilet paper for the house. So he turned around and ran smack into a buggy. Jean Grey's buggy. Lance had a momentary thought of tremoring her away in a wave of chips and candy, but then she would tell Kitty, and Kitty would be mad at him, and he didn't want that. So he came up with a better plan. "Jean." He said with a dip of his head and went around her buggy, passed her wide mouthed face, and kept walking towards the paper towel isle. "Okay, that was, uh, I don't know what that was but whatever." She said and kept going, a bit faster than before.  
  
Lance had found his way to the right isle and was standing in the middle of the isle looking, well, quite confused. "1-ply or 2-ply? Quilted or not?" He looked around. "Help?" He was standing there holding a roll of Bounty and a 4 pack of Angel Soft still confused when lo and behold Scott Summers came around the endcap, smiling at the site that was playing out in front of him. "Need help Alvers?" Avalanche was startled at first when he saw Scott but quickly recovered. "Not from you Summers'." "Ok, but those paper towels your holding aren't worth $2.69 a roll." With that he smirked and walked away.   
  
Lance wasn't exactly sure what to do, so he put the paper towels and toilet paper back and left that isle, in search of Todd. He's know what to do, hopefully.  
  
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Todd was still in the meats with Wanda, who was making fake puking faces when he would try telling her the difference between the different meats. She openly prefered small amounts of meat, none when possible. Before being put in that horrible place for most of her youth Magneto had taken her to a butcher and had had him 'butcher' a cow right in front of her, so she pretty much doesn't eat meat now. "Uh Todd, can't you just do this? I don't eat the meat anyway. Uh, bye!" she said and high tailed it out of there.  
  
After she left the meat section she was looking for Lance to see if he had picked out the things she had sent him for ten minutes ago, when she ran into Pietro. Not so much ran into to as much as caught him flirting with the young baking asst.. She placed a scowl firmly on her face, although it was funny watching the dimwit falling for the other dimwit's lines, but alas she had to get their shopping finished. "Ahem?" she said, loud enough for him to hear her. Pietro turned around looking a bit red in the face. He'd been caught, he never got caught. Oh well, he'd just play it cool and pretend he wasn't hitting on her. "Wanda, dear sister, what can I help you with?" he asked with sickening sweetness. "Ugh Pietro, don't use that phoney 'I'm so sweet, you must date me' tone of voice on me."  
  
"Whatever do you mean, dear sister?" he said in the same voice, this time a bit sarcasticly. "Whatever. Have you seen Lance? I sent him away for a few things ten minutes ago." She asked, she was getting tired of Pietro's attitude fast. "No, haven't seem 'im. Bye bye now Wanda." He said and turned back around to his flirting. Her eyed twitched slightly and she turned to leave, but not before sending a small hexbolt in his direction. Hearing him scream a few not so child friendly curses at her as she left to find Lance, before he got mad at the variety of toilet paper and brought down the store in his anger. So she kept going. Past isle three, past isle four, past isle five, and she stopped at the end of isle six. Where Lance was sitting in a pile of toilet paper and paper towels pouting.  
  
Smiling to herself she stood there for a minute watching him. He was sitting there muttering 'Stupid Summers', what would he know about paper towels prices.' It was so cute. "Avalanche? You ok?" He turned his head to her and grinned stupidly. "Yes, my paper towels minions and I are organizing our world domination plans. I'm gonna send tremors around the world and people will need paper towels, but only I will have them. And I'll be charging rediculous prices for them, per sheet." He stopped grinning and stood up dusting himself off. He had this weird thing about germs, but would stay under his Jeep for hours in oil and grease. Nobody said he was sane, nobody ever said any 'Hood members were sane, so it didn't bother him. "I sent you away ten minutes ago, what happened? Minions need an emergency meeting?"   
  
"So funny. I went looking for you but couldn't find you, so I came back here to sort out the difference between Bounty and Brawny. So, 1 ply or 2? And Bounty or Brawny?" He said pointing to the various products that had been confusing him for the last ten minutes. "First of all 2 ply always, second I don't really know about the paper towels. Freddy always gets them, he's the only one who can cook." "You can cook." "You mean the first and last time I tried to cook and led to our newly redone kitchen?" "That was you? I thought that was Toad having his 'I'm Emeral' dream again. He's the reason we got that new stove." She hid her laugh and turned dragging Avalanche down and out of that isle in search of Todd.  
  
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"Cherry, Blueberry, Sour Apple. They're all good. But you should never eat the lemon-lime ones, they'll turn your tongue green and make your stomach turn sour. Wait! Come back!" Freddy called to the kids that were running away from him. Todd had finished picking out meat for the next week, discreetly packed so Wanda wouldn't freak out muttering about cold blooded murder and run off, and was coming towards Freddy. "What's wrong yo? Try out one of Pietro's lines?" He said chuckling. "Huh? Oh, no. Say, where's everybody else?" "I don't know. Oh wait, here comes Wanda and Lance. Hello Sweetums!" He said grinning widely. "Bounty or Brawny?" She said shortly. If he was affronted he didn't show it. Freddy answered her. "Brawny, why?"   
  
She turned back to Lance and said. "See, I knew your minions were trying to trick you. You need to start an alliance with the bar soap, paper towels are to tricky." Lance grinned, but Toad and Blob were looking from them to themselves thinking their friends had finally lost it. Todd's mind reminded him you have to have something to loose it. He rolled his eyes and spoke up. "Where's Pietro yo?" Freddy grinned and said. "Scoring us some free donuts." Wanda turned on him. "You stopped him right? This is one of the last places in town we can do grocery shopping." "Uh, no. Is that bad?" He asked backing away, Wanda's scary man. "Yes dimwit. He'll get us discovered Iand/I kicked out. I mean we'll get banned after we just leave with the food but it'd be nice if we had the food first!" She looked furious and stormed off. Dragging Lance with her.  
  
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She dragged him up isle four to the bakery, but the was no sign of her slut of a brother. 'God! Why can't he just listen to me? I mean I try and try to help him, but no he has to be annoying anyway.' She was thinking angrily, whilest still dragging an Avalanche behind her.  
  
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"Hey, why are you dragging me into this?" He asked. She had been dragging by the arm for three isles, with no sight of Pietro. "If you don't, I'll tell Kitty of your paper towel minions." He shut up after that.   
  
They passed by isle's 5-8 without any sign of Pietro, until they got to isle 10. He was standing in the middle of a group of girls, about 16 or 17 years old she guessed, talking faster than humanly possible. But stopped midsentence when he saw Wanda coming. "W-Wanda! How g-good to see you." "I'm sure. Where have you been? Excuse us ladies." She said and dragged him away. Pietro looked over to Lance. "What did you do?" Wanda stopped abruptly and whirled them around in front of her. "You. Go get the other two and bring them up front so I can see what we do and don't need in that buggy Toad has. Goodness knows what Freddy's put in it since we left. Go!" She said pointing to Lance, who was already gone. "Well I'll just go help him." Pietro said trying to slink away. She grabbed his shirt collar. "Oh no you don't. Did I not tell you to stay away from the human girl?"  
  
"Maybe?" He offered. "Yes I did." "I did." "You did not!" "How would you know? You left." She rolled her eyes. "I know you Pietro. It doesn't matter, here comes Lance with the others." Lance looked irritated walking up with Freddy and Todd. Sure enough the buggy was half full of candy and snack cakes. Wanda grabbed another buggy and the end of the one Todd was pushing as soon as it was close.   
  
Freddy was absolutly appalled. Wanda had started chucking all his yummy candy and snacks into the other buggy muttering 'No good sweets' while he watched in horror.   
  
By the time she finished she had cleaned out every piece of candy and snack cake except a box of oatmeal cookies. "Hey, why didn't you put those in the other cart?" Freddy asked. "Those are mine." He leaned a bit closer. "Well if we're not paying why can't we get the others?" He asked a bit angry, mostly hungry. She forced herself not to hex him across the store in one bolt. "We don't want to look too suspicious. We have been here for thirty minutes, it doesn't take that long to get groceries. We can't look more suspicious than we already do ok?" They all nodded. "Good." She said and walked towards the frozen foods, cradling her box of oatmeal cookies.  
  
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Wanda was carrying three frozen pizza's, a box of frozen burritos for the boys, she didn't know why they ate them, they were gross enough boys as it was, they didn't need burritos to help them, and a box of cookies and cream ice cream for her. They didn't dare touch her ice cream, besides yelling at them for every bite they ate of it she had hexbolts guarding it in the freezer. "Why don't we ever get any ice cream? Huh Wanda?" Pietro questioned, hands on his hips. She rolled her eyes. "First off Todd is lactose intolerant, Freddy eats to many sweets as it is, Lance doesn't like the stuff, you don't eat it either for some ungodly reason, and finally BECAUSE I SAID SO!" She yelled at him. Making him back off some and turn away from her. "Are we done here?" She asked putting her stuff in their buggy. "Yeah. We got all the stuff we came for Sweetums." Todd answered her. She ignored that last comment.   
  
"I have some other things to get. Lance, your coming with me." Wanda said eyeing Lance with authority. "K." He said, and followed her.  
  
They had been walking for a minute or so and Wanda hadn't said anything. "Wanda, where are we going?" She stifled a snicker. "Isle 7." Lance stopped short. "No way Wanda, no way!" She stopped and rounded on him. "Why not Alvers?" He looked horror stricken. "B-Because, that's the 'womens isle'. I can't go down there, I'll loose my rep as a guy. It'd be different if you were my girlfriend or something. But I don't do that even for Kitty." He had firmly crossed his arms across his chest. She put a scowl on her face but was trying so hard not to laugh. "Look Alvers I need things from isle 7 and I'm to, embarassed, to carry them myself." "What about me?!" "Oh I don't care if your embarassed." She said and ressumed walking. He didn't really care to have a hexbolt burnt butt so he kept walking, he could just greet anybody who bothered him about it with the 'She's my friend and she needed my help' speech and a few tremors.  
  
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They were standing in isle 7 and Lance had his back to Wanda, she didn't say he had to watch her get, whatever, she needed. He stood there singing a song in his head and not paying attention to Wanda somewhere behind him.  
  
Wanda always forgot which package to get. "Diamond or flower? Green or blue?" She kept muttering to herself, trying to remember. Click. A light went off in her head. "Lance?" No response. "Oh look, a new car without the keys in it!" she said. Lance turned around and saw Wanda with her hands on her hips staring at him and tapping her foot impatiently. "What?" "What color are those small packages your always thowing back into my bathroom after we do shopping? I can't remember." "Green. Why? Don't answer that." He said turning back around. Wanda rolled her eyes and supressed a smirk. She couldn't reach the ones she wanted so she just sent a small hexbolt at the area they were in and caught one of the falling packages and turned to walk out of that isle.   
  
She was coming up on Lance, who was staring at the pile of femminine products further down the isle. "Why did you do that?! You said we couldn't get thrown out yet." "It was only a small bolt." She said a kept walking, Lance following her unsure of her mental stability. They were almost out of the isle when Wanda slammed they small green bundle into Lance's stomach. "Ow, what'd ya do that for?" She didn't say anything just looked past the end cap. At the the person coming their way. At the person they really didn't want to see. At Scott Summers.   
  
Scott stopped himself from running into Scarlet Witch and Avalanche. A look of pure bliss passed over Cyclops' face. "Forget the Midol Alvers?" This nearly sent Lance over the edge, but Wanda saved them. "No, his soap minions will massage away any pain." She said. Scott looked torn between laughing and running away fast. He glared at Lance a moment longer and his eyes flicked to Wanda before he walked of snickering to himself. "Are you done staring a hole in his back so we can leave?" Lance indeed was staring at Scott's retreating back. "Yeah. Yeah I'm done, we can go."  
  
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They made their way back to the buggy, luckily Pietro and Toad were trying to hold Freddy back from that delicious display of lolly pops. So Lance dropped Wanda's bag in the cart, they had put it in a plastic bag. "Ahem?" Freddy stopped trying to get to the candy because, well, Wanda's still scary man.   
  
"Who's got the lovely job of distraction? It ain't gonna be me." She said, hands on her hips. "I did it last time." Pietro quipped. "Me time before last." Freddy said, looking at Wanda's cookies. She saw him looking and hid them behind her back. "Mine Freddy." He looked hurt, but soon eyed a pepperoni pizza in their buggy. "It was me time before Freddy." Todd said. They all turned to Lance who was looking at another car magazine. "What?" They closed in on him, looking happy that it would be any of them the cops would be looking for on tonight's news, not like they caught them anyway. But still, they had some pride, just some.  
  
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So it was agreed that Lance would do the distracting and Wanda, Todd, Pietro, and Freddy hid behind a cookie display at the front of the small store. Which was hard because Freddy kept trying to get past Pietro to the cookies, but Quiksilver was faster than him so he hadn't had much luck in his little mission.   
  
Lance walked up to the exit doors and turned around and raised his hands. "Yes young man? Did you loose your mother?" A older woman cashier asked him. "No lady." He said. She scoffed at him and went back to her customer. He ignored her and raised his arms all the way in front of him.   
  
His eyes rolled back into his head and a huge tremor started to raise and roll the tiled floor in front of him. His eyes rolled further back and he groaned in concentration causing the tremor to get bigger and roll past several cash registers, tipping them over. His super tremor, as they would call it later, kept going until it reached the isles, knocking at least half of them over. Scattering food every where. Cashiers were running about screaming and customers were doing the same. Meanwhile Todd, Wanda, Pietro, and Freddy were moving from their spot towards the door. Swirving past panicing customers, they snuck past a fallen soda machine and out the front doors, and out into the parking lot.  
  
Lance was getting a monster headache and a bit lightheaded. He opened his eyes in their normal position and put his arms down, stopping the super tremor from terrorizing the supermarket. He was a little wobbly. "Uh, ok. Bye." He said and ran out the doors.  
  
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Out in the parking lot the rest of the 'Hood were loading the stuff into the Jeep, fastly. "Faster Lance faster." Pietro was muttering under his breath as they finished putting their 'confiscated' groceries into Lance's Jeep.   
  
As Toad put the last thing into the Jeep Lance came running out into the parking lot, straight at them. He was waving his arms screaming "Get in! Get in!". Scott, Jean, and Rogue were climbing out of the front of the store, it was a huge mess, and were trying to get to them.  
  
After Lance made it the rest of the way to the Jeep he jumped in and started it, and dodging a few red flashes behind him. After making their get away and getting back to the Brotherhood house he stopped the Jeep and let out the breath he'd been holding, and got out and started carrying stuff up the house.  
  
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Three hours later Freddy and Todd were eating a pepperoni and sausage pizza in the living room, Pietro wasn't home, he was on a date, again. Lance was outside working on his Jeep, again, and talking to a bar of soap by the drip pan. And Wanda was happily eating her ice cream in her room, away from Freddy.   
  
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(Meanwhile at the Institute)  
  
"So he just looked at me and said 'Jean', dipped his head, then walked around me and walked away. It was wierd, not like Lance at all. I don't know what to make of it. I'm going to bed, goodnight Kitty. Good night Scott." Jean Grey said getting up from her spot on the couch. "I'll walk you Jean." Scott said getting up from his arm chair next to the girls' couch. "Night Jean, night Scott." Kitty Pride said watching her housemates walk away. After Jean and Scott left Kitty was sitting on the couch smiling to herself. "He'll never leave Scott alone, even if it means creeping Jean out." She laughs a little. "Oh well, that's my Lance." She said and got up and headed to her room.  
  
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(Back at the 'Hood house)  
  
Wanda had boobytrapped her ice cream in the freezer and was upstairs reading in her room. Freddy was asleep in his chair, again. Pietro was still gone. Lance was watching t.v. with Soapy the bar of soap, his 2nd in command. And Todd was watching t.v. too, but a good distance away from Lance and Soapy.  
  
~Fin~  
  
  
(A/N: Likie? Review then, just a suggestion. But Soapy urges you to do so. No Soapy no!!!!! Review before he gets to you to! Ahhhh!!!! ::gets dragged away in a wall af bubbles. ;) 


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